Spiritual Eating Disorder

“I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty” John 6:35

Our appetizer is praise and worship. Our main course is the Word of God. Our dessert is fellowship with sisters that build us up.

I knew friends and classmates who struggled with eating disorders, but the type I struggled with was harder to see.

You only saw it when I yelled harsh words at my brother. When I was rude to my Dad. I could feel the effects when my thoughts were judgmental towards the woman on the bus with a missing tooth. In my thoughts, confusion and disorder was often present. I could write a never-ending list of the downsides of spending less time in God’s word…

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God desires to know us personally, deeply, intimately and genuinely, which isn’t possible if we only open his word twice a week. When we pray only rarely and without wanting more of him, we’re going off track. I often find the need to remind myself that God doesn’t need me to showcase his grace, but that I am the one desperately in need of him, and in need of his grace.

To be honest, finding time to regularly meet with God is sometimes a struggle for me.

Let me share some problems I encounter:

1.     I binge eat God’s word, devouring the passages and spending a large amount of time praying. I try to make up for missed time in the Word all at once, but then go another week without reading his word.

2.     In other seasons, I diet with God’s word. Just trying to survive on tid-bits of it, trying to thrive on a few Bible verses. It never works.

3.     “Over exercising” by taking on too many commitments at Church, youth group or campus Christian ministry. This is all in the hopes of pleasing God after a season of apathy, however the overload often leads me to skip out on other important responsibilities, leading to an unbalanced life.

These are just a few ways my time management, distractions, daily problems or laziness lead to disordered patterns in the way I consume God’s word, the most important food in my life.

Do you struggle with something similar?

I challenge you today, to invest your time in seeking God regularly. I’m going to be honest; you will have to cut back on Netflix or whatever else takes up your time. This one wasn’t that hard for me. But choosing to spend 20 min with him in the morning, rather than oversleeping, is super hard for me. We’re all different, but the challenge is the same.

Something that really created closeness between God & I each day was approaching him in conversation, rather than a solemn sounding prayer. Instead of praying, “Lord, please help me manage my time, Amen.” you can pray, “Father, you know every minute of everyday, you are in control of it all! I want you to be present in my whole day, so that I can talk to you as easily as I would to a friend standing beside me. Give me abundant joy in experiencing your closeness! Amen! ”

My prayer for today: Lord, you are Jehovah-Jireh, our provider. You provide us with time, and the abilities and wisdom to schedule it to keep you at the top of our priorities. I must confess, I am not good at this all the time. I often return to disordered patterns of seeking you. I do this by sometimes seeking you a whole lot, sometimes not at all. Forgive me for not always using my time wisely and not being intentional in putting time aside to worship, pray and hear your voice. Help me create wholesome patterns in my life, so that feasting on your word can be a daily joy I look forward too! In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.