10 Ways to Slay at being Yourself
When I was young, I had many masks – metaphorically. I was a certain Linu when I was at home, a different Linu in school, a different Linu in church and a very different Linu when meeting new people.
While I was loud and always getting into trouble at home, I was a quiet, good student in school. While I was the confident and ready to serve in my church, I was swearing in school. When I met new people, I was shy and didn’t speak my mind. But as the years rolled on and I hit university, I decided to get rid of the mask and slowly just be me and this is what I did! You might not feel ready to do them all but start with three from the list and work your way up from there! We do not want you to go through life trying to live someone else’s life when God has created your innermost being with special talents, personality and humour.
1) Stop comparing
The most important thing you can do for yourself is to NOT measure yourself against someone else’s highlight reel. You know, that person you follow on Instagram, your friend who has flawless skin or that celebrity who always has that perfect outfit all the time. Don’t fall into the comparison trap my friend!
2) Become more self-aware
Nikkita LOVES to do personality tests and sometimes we would do the test together and see how different we are. Certain tests like figuring out our love language, our personalities, how we work can help us figure out what works best for us.
Being self-aware also means to make sure you are aware of things that make you tick, making sure you spend time with yourself to know why you feel certain things, what you believe in and why.
3) Surround yourself with your inner circle
I remember once when Nikkita and I were chatting and she said ‘I think I’m a perfectionist sometimes’ and I looked at her and said ‘you didn’t know?’
Sometimes our inner circle or squad can catch things out in us that it would take forever for us to realise. Having your inner circle around you means that you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable but also authentic so they can call you out on things that are not you.
4) Stop complaining
Girlfriend, I’ve been there! ‘But I am so short’ or ‘oh man, I can’t fit into the dress anymore’. We have all been there and something we do need to vent out our frustration, but we can’t stay there. Somethings are out of our control, so we need to learn to accept and surrender and to the things we can control – like our weight, we can encourage and motivate ourselves to take a step forward in making changes that would bring joy and self-love.
5) Be kinder to yourself
I cannot stress how important being kinder to ourselves is. How we treat ourselves gives everyone a standard of how they should treat us.
So girlfriend, compliment yourself in the mirror, tell yourself that you look beautiful when you wake up. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Speak good things about yourself, encourage yourself; talk to yourself as you would talk to your best friend.
The best thing I can do to be kinder on myself is to forgive myself as Christ forgave myself. I have this quote from C.S Lewis I have on my wall to remind myself of this:
If God forgives us, we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.
Being kind to yourself to give you grace and accept that you have made mistakes but God takes it all and uses it.
6) Invest in your passion
Girlfriend, those God-given passions are personal and handpicked for you. God has planted that seed of desire so as you work on it and invest more in it, you’ll learn about yourself and how God has created you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, including your passions.
7) Be okay with being by yourself
I used to be the girl who wasn’t fond of my own company. I would much rather hang out with Lorelai and Rory and watch Gilmore Girls all day than just be. But over the years, I realised that I am pretty good company, if I do say so myself. My jokes are hilarious and my singing is so amusing that I could entertain myself in my head for hours. So I made a rule that every now and then, I do things by myself - I watch movies on my own, I read in my spare time reading than swoon over Jess Mariano and talked to God when I clean.
8) Love yourself
I wasn’t listening to Justin Bieber when I wrote this but loving yourself means to treat yourself in the same standard that you treat others – with a lot more love, encouragements and giving yourself a bit more of you.
Take yourself out on a date, dress how you want to dress, wear that lipstick that you feel is too ‘out there’ and you do you.
9) Girlfriend, be totally okay with who you are in this season.
Sure you wish something were different – maybe you wish your bible reading was on-point, or maybe you wish that you could feel more grown up and you knew what you are doing but that’s okay. Where you are right now and what you feel right now is completely okay and God is with you in that and He is in control of that. In this season, you are right where you are meant to enjoy this journey!
But working on being your best self is also not a bad thing – celebrate and grow your strength. Show some grace and work on your weakness. But no matter what, be your beautiful self!
10) Ask God to show you more ways to slay at being yourself
When I first started this journey of self-love, I ask God to help me – to open my eyes of the places I needed to be kinder to myself, the times when I am comparing myself, the times where I wished my season away or talked down on myself.
I have also asked God to help me intentionally be kinder to myself and see myself how God sees me.
Maybe let’s take this time to ask God to help us with these things:
Lord, you know our heart and you know the places we need to work on. We pray that we open our eyes and hearts to see ourselves how you see us. We pray that you help us become more intentional about how we treat ourselves, love ourselves and be content with ourselves. We invite you into this journey of slaying at being ourselves. Amen.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. ― Oscar Wilde