Soul Ties: Discerning Healthy and Unhealthy Soul Ties

Over the last couple of weeks, we spoke a little about what soul ties are and how we can create them. The idea that someone can have a deep impact in your emotional, physical and spiritual life can be overwhelming. You and I have all been impacted and created soul ties – healthy and unhealthy. Viktoria spoke about the friendship between David and Jonathan – they are #goals and the epitome of a good healthy soul tie. But what makes a bad soul tie?

How can we differentiate between a healthy or unhealthy soul tie?

I always ask myself these three questions when I am evaluating a potential soul tie:

1)    Does this person gratify the flesh?

2)    Does this person lead me away from God?

3)    How does this person make me feel about myself?

Here is the personal account of a soul tie I had formed – I was in university and I had met a certain gentleman from church. He was passionate about Jesus and passionate about pursuing me. At this point, it looked like this person did not gratify the flesh, he didn’t seem like the guy who could lead me away from God, especially since he lived and breathed church and he made me feel good. Signs pointed to a good soul tie. We started hanging out more, going to church together, praying together, sharing dinner and secrets together. He was my best friend and boyfriend all rolled into one…until he eventually cheated on me. The gentleman’s weakness came alive in the darkness of the bedroom.

However, if only the story ended there. He ended up dating someone else but turned up at my house to tell me everything I wanted to hear, every couple of months like clockwork. We didn’t realise that we had created soul ties with each other. Unhealthy soul ties which gratified the flesh, which led me away, far away from God. While he didn’t physically cheat on his girlfriend, I was the other woman with whom he emotionally cheated on her with. It made me feel sick to the stomach and my relationship with God as a result of this was at the verge of crumbling. Unhealthy soul ties can have such damaging effects.

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But healthy soul ties can be so powerful. My girlfriends who were my David to my Jonathan, reminded me of who God is, who encouraged me and spoke Christ and life into me. They walked with me helping me baby steps towards God; helped me work through trust issues with God; listened to my never-ending rambles, fed me tubs of ice cream and gave me an unlimited supply of hugs. They reminded me of who God has created me to me and reminded me that I needed to forgive myself because God has already forgiven me. They were the start to killing an unhealthy soul tie.

My friend, if you can relate to any part of my story or if your answers to the three questions above point to a soul tie, then let me pray for you:

Jesus, we thank you for the bravery to come forward and shine a light on the uncomfortable and unhealthy relationships in our lives that needs to be pruned out. We pray for your strength as we start this process and may you provide each of us with an overwhelming amount of support and healthy soul ties that can help us through this. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

If you would love to chat with someone about unhealthy soul ties, we are here for you girlfriend. Did you know that we have FREE Exhale sessions? It’s your chance to jump on video with us and we can come alongside you and journey with you in whatever season you are in. Click this link to book your free session now -