Knowing myself, a lot of the time I walked around comparing my qualities, abilities and things I own to friends or classmates. I even compared myself to strangers I saw on the street, on the subway or at the grocery store. This would plummet my confidence big time. I also knew deep down that this wasn’t helping me appreciate the unique person that God created me to be. In His word, he says that I was thought of and planned for long ago.
“Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:16
The Lord knew you since before you even existed. He decided that he needed you to be alive exactly at this time.
As I reflected on the source of my self confidence today and in the past, I found it used to be rooted in trying to validate myself or prove myself as having the ability to fulfill and reach a standard. When I didn’t reach these ridiculously high standards (set by myself or those around me) my self confidence would get chipped away at. This kept going until I started calling myself unworthy, incapable or unlovable just to name a few. All of these words are the exact OPPOSITE of what God sees, when He looks at me.
“So often we fall into the trap of believing that our life only matters if people recognize us or see us or we get awards or acclaim - if we are seen and known and loved on a grand scale” - Emily Wilson
So many times I would try to chase after and find my self confidence in becoming like another person, so that I would have the qualities they posses. I though that would give me loads of self-confidence. Isn’t it odd how I was looking for SELF-confidence, while trying to be like someone else?
As I was reading through God’s word, I realized that my life matters and my confidence should be rooted in what God can accomplish through me and not what I can accomplish through my strength. Trying to use my strength to preform and meet expectations always led me to letdowns. But, when we grasp the idea that we are so much more than the negative descriptors we assign ourselves after a “failure”, we realize we are more than just us. What this means is that once we have found the truth of who we are in God’s word - beloved, beautiful, altogether lovely, capable, equipped with God’s strength, we can now go out and speak this life into our sisters as well.
Friends, don’t keep your confidence to yourself, share it! If you see a sister that needs a word of truth about who she is in God’s eyes, don’t hesitate to reach out to her. I guarantee that this will make her life richer and yours as well.
Its so beautiful when I see a community of women whose self-confidence isn’t based on mimicking each other but on becoming the woman God created them to be without judgement or standards. This is the kind of confidence that is lasting, and I can say that from personal experience.
In this short video, Emily Wilson shares how her mentor/friend shared incredible words of life with her, which changed her perspective and allowed her to confidently live out God’s purpose for her! Hope you watch it all the way through!
PS, hey girlfriend! Did you know that we have FREE Exhale sessions? It’s your chance to jump on video with us and we can come alongside you and journey with you in whatever season you are in. Click this link to book your free session now - wearechai.as.me/exhalesessions